I applied for the role of a housing/benefit advisor, I had been a single mum and indepedantly living free from my parents since I was 17 so I had a lot of life experience to share and felt this was a position I could sink my teeth into as well as being rewarding. I began in November 2006 and loved every minute. My first training day was the day I met TR (The Rapist). I remember sitting there around the large conference table surrounded by women of mixed ages and one man. I had instantly clocked him as he was sat so confident and the other women were cooing round him. He had his leg half on the table in a cocky manor and his face was lit by the attention he was getting. He had his phone out and was showing it round, a photo of his six month old baby girl. The women were saying the usual 'awww she's adorable' but the whole time he was fixated on me. I of course knew no one and was sat on a limb. He winked at me when I looked over, rolling his eyes at the baby pitched high voice women. I smiled in return, I was not into the whole baby scene much but respected the fact his daughter was a lovely baby. Throughout the whole session he kept making small talk in breaks and again winking during the actual training. I found it nice that someone was making an effort to make me feel part of the team. I remember thinking as we women do, 'he's handsome' but not my type. I also thought he seemed a little arogant but I hardly knew him so how could I know what he was like. I learnt that day he was 35 years old, which was nine years my senior at the time, and he was married with the new baby. He talked about them so nicely I found it was endearing. He worked in the IT department and was a huge music fan.
The next working day he emailed me to see if I had recovered from the boring training. I replied, and coerced in some friendly banter over email. Days prgressed and I didn't really give it much thought, I didn't see him much but he emailed now and again to see how i was settling in. He came down one day to my department for some reason, probably a tech thing and sat opposite in the same leg crossed argogant position, and started to chatting to me about my scooter outside, showing an intrest in the whole scooter scene. He then emailed me some more, and came to sit with me at dinner in the break zone. I found our chats were normal friendly and often fun. He asked if I was with someone, not an unusual question seen as he had told me of his wife. I told him I was getting married in the following July, he gave me a few tips and congratulated me. The emails kept coming, I didn't mine, it broke the boringness of being a trainee doing the shit jobs and his emails were often funny or interesting. I learned about his music passions and foudn we had a lot in common with our hobbies. I mentioned to my finace that he was emailling me, and referenced maybe a little too much, as I didn't really get why he was doing it, but like my fiance I felt it was just banter afterall he was married.
I signed under his persuassion to climb Helvellyn in the lake district for charity and under the B umbrella. this was to happen in the march and we were in the new year already. I remeber the first email which was slightly suggestive, I had been talking about were I would like to go on my honeymoon and he had replied that it depended if I wanted to be hot and topless, thonged bikini or wet suit? I laughed it off and replied it was non of his business, to which he responded 'fair enough, I was only jokin'. So the emails and friendly chats in the break room continued, nothing felt sinister nor uncomfortable. On a few ocassions his words became a little more intense, like 'you are wearing that tight little skirt I like again' with a LOL at the end. I would always brush it off, make an excuse for it. Then it became more suggestive like what underwear do you wear, and what type of men are you into etc etc. This is when a few alarm bells rang and I mentioned to my best friend about it, she laughed too, thinking some old fella fancied me and just don't reply. So I didn't reply to the smutty messages, sometimes I would to the normal ones. Then he did a very clever thing, he text me. Now I not sure how he got my phone number but I assumed it was off the HR network which manged addresses, leave and payroll. He made the program that did this and managed it so it was easy for him to access what he wanted. He sent me a few messages via text, and they were harmless, usually silly jokes that seemed to have been sent to numerous people etc. I would always tell my partner them, and who they were from.
Again I got a few more emails, and messages that started to become so frequent I was hardly able to keep doing my work. I ignored them, but that would spur him on and would mean he would find some excuse to come down to my department, he would then speak to me in front of everyone as normal and I would be compelled to respond because he would actively invite people into our conversation. This made it awkward to tell him to back off and after all everyone loved him so much, including my boss. I started to think about saving some of the emails and messages, just incase I felt I should report it to someone. I collected them up in a folder in my inbox backed up with another folder in my desktop. One day I went to my dinner and returned to my desk, my computer had been played with, he had wiped all my emails!! This really pissed me off, and I sent a rather rude email to him, asking why he had done that and who did he think he was?!! He responded that he was sorry but wasn't sure if I was getting the wrong idea so thought it was best to make sure no else saw, he was very nice and apologetic but I realised at this point what the deal really was. I made it clear he was not to do that again and to back off. This did all but spur him on.
I considered going to my boss, but he was a favourite of hers and they would often be seen lunching together and laughing. Who would believe me? I was a new girl of 2 months, he was a manager and been around five years. As he seemed to get the message, I did nothing. He backed off and I got on with my work. Until Valentines day approached. He sent me a message asking my advice on what to get his wife? I ignored the message until he came down to the desk to ask me and the other women what he should get? They all chipped in, and I stayed quiet. He said 'I was thinking some lingerie, what you think B?' I looked up and shrugged, I explained I would hate that but only he would know what his wife liked. He went back to his room. I went out to lunch that day, it seemed better than staying in the break room where he could come over and join me. I walked out into the cool air and began walking to the town, the place was on an industrial estate and a ten min walk to the centre. A few minutes into my walk and I got a shout and wait up from behind me, and before I knew he was walking along side of me. He asked if I minded him walking into town with me. I responded that in fact I was going to B&Q which was where we about at by then and he said 'great, me too!'. I rolled my eyes, I felt so uncomfortable now with him, and guilty too, as if I was cheating on my partner in some way. When we got into B&Q I swiftly took to the paint aisles and pretended to look, I rang my partner wanting to distract from the fact there was a maniac near by. I couldn't get through to him so I kept pacing around trying to avoid where ever TR had gone. As I got to the back of the store he pounced out, and said 'arrgh there you are' and reached out to me, he grabbed my hand and rushed me to a metal pillar which he hid behind. Pinned to the metal pillar he lifted my skirt, pulled down my knickers and swiflty put his fingers up me. I was so in shock and could not scream as his tongue was literally down my throat! It was painful. Suddenly he pulled out and ran off, people were approaching who seemed to work at our place too. He scampered leaving me dazed and confused. I ran around the store, trying to see if he had left or not, I did not want him to approach me on the way back. I then found a quiet spot in the tile aisle and rang my partner in tears. Unable to speak from my distress, I tried to explain something had happened at work and I needed him. He calmed me down and asked about it, I said not here not now, not over the phone. He also got a bollocking for talking on the phone from his boss and soon cut the conversation short. My instinct was to runaway, not to return to work but somewhere in me I knew I had to go back, I was the breadwinner and my scooter and helmet where back at work anyway. I pulled myself together and returned, I cleaned up my tears in the bathroom and went back to my desk passing his room on the way, to where he sat, head down.
I carried on that afternoon, knowing it was my late shift too. He did not email me or message me and I sighed in relief. My boss came over and explained she was going to do some training with me and would sit next to me at the desk beside me. Great! I would be safe with the boss. Soon into training the computer started to malfunction and she called TR t come fix it. My heart skipped a beat as he crouched down next to me on the floor and started to tweak the system. He also started to feel up my leg under the desk and in my desperation to avoid this, I got up and asked if my boss or anyone else would like a tea. they all valued the suggestion so off I went to the break room whilst my supposedly broken computer was fixed. I started to make the tea in the lonely room, no one was there just me. Soon the door opened and I saw it was him. He came over to me and grabbed my arm, he said 'come with me' and started to pull me toward him. I resisted and said 'no, no, no' but I admit not being one to rock the boat or anything, I was smiling at the same time. I was being too nice really and should have screamed. He kept dragging me toward the male loos, his back to the door pulled me inside. I can't quite remember what I did to prevent it, resist at this point but I tried but it was very quick and he was very strong.
Inside the toilets he shoved me into the toilet cubicle and pinned me to the right side. He lifted my skirt and said 'you were so wet in B&Q I needed to feel it again', I could feel his bulge pressing against me. I said something like 'no and then please not here, no'. He then said 'why not?' I know you want it and you can tell I want it' putting my hand down his pants. He then just continued to kept thrusting his tongue down my throat or biting my breasts sore and hard. If his mouth did not cover my lips it was one finger which crossed it like to say sssh. I did not say anything. I closed my eyes, in pain and shock. He then ripped my tights and slipped his cock in me. I new what was happening and kept my eyes firmly shut the whole time. All I could think of was my partner, if he could see this, if he would want me now, if he would want to marry me, my mum would be wanting to cancel it all, the whole uproar, the possible loss of my job and money. Then it was over, quickly. He zipped up, but someone else came in the cubicle. So he put his hand over my mouth and he held his breath. He then whispered 'wait here' and left. Small talk was had out at the basins and they both left the bathroom. I pulled up my tights, half ripped and tidied myself up, put my bra back in place and started to emerge from the cubicle, shaking. Just then he came back in, he said 'the coast is clear out here now' and signalled me to come out, which I did. He then smiled at me and said 'sssh be a good girl' and left the room. I went into the female loos and wiped the seamen, from my legs, crying and shaking. I wiped my eyes and washed my face and returned to make tea.
When I got back to my desk, the computer was fine, as I suspect it was all the time. My boss had decided to call it a day, it was 4.20pm. My friend J was opposite and noticed that I was a little shaken but said nothing when I responded I was fine. I finished my day and left.
I cried all the way home that evening on my scooter. I contemplated running over the cross roads without looking. It knew my life had changed and it was horrible. I got home and looked after my boy put him to bed and waited for my parnter to return. He did, and I was sat in a heap on the floor, crying and kept saying everything is ruined...its all ruined. He cuddled me and asked what had happened and through my tears I took a breath to tell him, and just then he said 'if anyone has hurt you I am going to seek them out and kill them, I will honestly rip their head off' and in that instant, I stopped.
I told him nothing just that something big had happened at work and I would be fine. My best friend came over that night, I forget where my partner went. I managed to tell her what happened, and she told me to report it. I explained that my partner might not understand or believe me, and would not want to marry me in a couple of months time. I loved him and the wedding was booked, I wanted to marry him still. I knew my mother would cause havoc and cancel everything and make a big uproar, and my dad would consider walking into my work and half killing the fella. No, I had to think about it. I didn't mention it again to her.
I asked my husband to make love to me that night. I felt that I needed him to be the last person to have been there, despite the fact I had someone else's seamen in me earlier. I asked him not to wear protection either, I knew I would be getting a morning after pill the next day. I cried the whole time, and I explained to my husband it was out of joy and happiness. It was not, it was hell.
My breasts were covered in bruises and grots, and my arms where stiff from being pinned and thrashing, however I peeled myself from the bed and went back to work the very next day (valentines day) and the next and the next. For two weeks TR never came near me, or text, or emailed. But then it began again..............
I'LL WRITE THE NEXT PART TOMORROW/
Night all.
Bethany Black
xx
No comments:
Post a Comment